Slacking.... Help!!

It's a familiar feeling...

I get out of whack with my fitness and I just stay there. It usually happens when I'm overly stressed, or somewhat strapped financially and can't eat like I want to. Which is counter-productive, because not eating like I want to is all the more reason to excercise more.

Anyway, this time it's both. I'm strapped, and stressed, because I just started a business... Oh the expensive joys of entrepreneurship...

Anyway, it's definitely becoming a gradual decline from my good habits. I need a boost, or something. A pick-me-up. Some motivation. Because nothing in my immediate surroundings is getting me going.

Instead... My bed and sedentary prostration are calling my name.

What does one do in these moments?

I mean, I'm also faced with this exciting, but expensive new discovery; my clothes don't all fit. I am slowly, but surely inching out of them with the weightloss. On the one hand, this is a sure sign of losing inches, which is the point. On the other hand, it's also a sure sign of losing $$$, as I have to either replace certain items, or get them tailored, so my clothes (namely pants and shorts) don't fall off of me.

I have taken to buying dresses lately. They last alot longer, in regards to weightloss, and are much easier to take in. It's almost summer time, so long flowy dresses abound from every corner.

I don't want to go back. I don't want to gain the weight back. I don't want to be any heavier. But my body doesn't seem to care what I want. And my emotions are on my body's side. So no matter how much I say "I will take this baby step to get back on track," in the hour of the moment, my body and my emotions say "well, I want to rest. I'm tired. I want something sweet to eat."

Vicious battle. And in the fight of "I" vs "emotions x body," I'm just simply outnumbered.

So... Again... I need help. I need some support or something. A spark. Because I'm sort of losing mine.

Halfway to home base!!

24.8lbs... Even though thats not quite 25... It's darn near. If i ran a mile tomorrow, that'll probably take care of it.

Im very excited, as my initial goal was 50lbs lost. I am halfway there. Except.... It's taking too long. I only have four months left to make my goal. Losing a pound a week, I can lose sixteen or seventeen more, max, before the end of August. Im not sure what it's going to take to kick this weightloss up, but I need that 2lbs/week ratio to pop off. I might go vegan for a few weeks, or something. Lol. We will see.

Tis all for now, my darling chubbchubbs.

Body translator

Previous to Monday, I have most certainly been off track. Fortunately, one of my current jobs is as a dance teacher, so I can't afford not to exercise. However, my eating habits were horrendous!

It all started with a box of softees... You know, the Entemann's donuts? Someone gave me a box of those suckers last Wednesday... Now, even though I live with other people, who I know snacked on the donuts, there is still no excuse for the amount I ate.

One morning, in a rush, my entire breakfast consisted of a doughnut and a chug of soy milk.
Poor body.

I know she's mad at me. In fact, I have often wondered, if my body could speak, what would it say?

in regards to last week, I imagine it would go like this:

"What the hell is this? Another doughnut!!! What am I supposed to do with that Leslie? I am still trying to work out the last one you forced down my throat. Are you trying to kill us? I'm not particularly in the mood to die today. And where's the water? I am so thirsty that I should just shut down on your behind. Ungrateful heifer. Here I am, doing the best that I can to carry your heavy self around, AND keep you doing what you do. What thanks do I get? A doughnut. Some H2O would have been nice. Maybe some spinach... but no... you want to start the day off with a doughnut! Oh sure, maybe you and the Brain are happy. What about me? Why must you make my job so difficult? You know what? Lights out for you!"

And that's exactly what happens. When I don't eat right, my energy dies. I mean, really, it just flat-lines.

And if I was listening, I probably would have heard my body's plea. But instead.. I snacked yet another doughnut. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think that a single doughnut is the end of me, although my body would probably beg to differ. However, many donuts, in a short span of time, coupled with the overall lack of other nutritional sources (I wasn't eating much of anything), just did my poor body no good.

I am probably not the only person not to listen to my body. I think many people ignore the body's basic cry for help. Even those we would call "fit." We ignore our body's cry for nutrition, for rest, for movement, for healing... So many basic needs that we deny ourselves.

Why?

Why do humans think it's ok to ignore the single most important responsibility to a successful life? Name me one thing you can do without your body....


Don't worry... I'll wait...


I didn't think so... So WHY do we mistreat them so? Not exercising. Not resting. Not letting ourselves heal from injury. Eating crappy foods. Yes, people say its ok to have sweets in moderation, but please.. tell me ONE physiological benefit from eating... say... a doughnut. Just one...


Again... think on it... I'll wait...


More importantly, when we don't do these things, we wonder why we suffer from exhaustion, chronic dis-ease, fatigue, memory loss, sluggish brains, headaches, rapid aging, frequent injury, etc.  There's no one to blame for this but us. And even with all the medical help in the world, there's no one that can fix us, but us.

Quit trying to out-logic your body. Chances are, you are the one being illogical. Not the body. It's only telling you what you need. You can't win by trying to reason that you don't really need it.

In my case, my body was fed up with the nutritional malarkey I was feeding it for the week. And what did my body do? "Showed out," as the old folks say. I was overly tired in my dance classes. I was in a grumpy mood, I slept too much, I didnt get as much work done as I wanted, which created anxiety, which added to my stress, which beat my body up even more, because my poorly fed body wasn't functioning at optimal levels, so it didnt have the energy to battle the stress. This resulted in headaches, which led to me taking painkillers.

Now, all of that might have possibly been avoided, if I had just laid off the doughnuts, and ate some nutrient-dense foods.

"That's what I'VE been saying. You take care of me, I'll take care of you."

Ok body... I hear you.

A major plea.

22LBS.

I have defied my own evil habits and truly made a dent in this healthy weight journey. I have lost 22lbs. In my mind, I still have a ways to go, but I take this weightloss as the accomplishment it is.

It always feels good to reach goals, and mine have felt better and better with every pound gone. However, the days of magical Zumba fitness are passing me, as income changes are forcing me to be more frugal with my budget.

Its a tough economy for nearly everyone right now (with the exception of the minority wealthy). And we all have to make some tough decisions about how we spend our finances. I, for one, am no stranger to these decisions, and unfortunately $40 extra bucks a month for Zumba seemed counterproductive when I could barely afford to buy healthy groceries.

As it is, I desperately want to add some weight resistance to my workouts. Most of what I do now is cardio/aerobic, and its just not enough. As many people know (and many more dont), muscle burns calories long after any workout. The more muscle a person has, the more calories they will burn regularly.

Here's the thing though.

Im not exactly in a place financially to invest in hand weights, or weighted vests, or any of that.

Usually, I am simply reporting my success and failures with this blog. But now I am making a plea to the entire community.

If you, or anyone you know, has any weights no longer in use (perhaps a lighter weight you've plateau'd with) or weighted vests that they'd be willing to donate to one young lady's weightloss journey, please do.

It is so important for me to get my health status to a good place. And I am learning more, and more, that it is important for me to ask for help when something seems out of my reach.

So, won't you help me?
As a beginner, I'm not looking for anything expensive or extremely heavy. Anything up to 20lbs in hand weights, or 60lbs in a vest, would be wonderful. I do mean anything. That includes cannon ball weights.

I appreciate whatever you, my loyal reader, may be able to offer.

21!!!! And a half....

A few days ago, I met up with an old enemy of mine.... The scale... I looked at it.... It stared back up at me with that cold digital 0000... And then we faced off.

I stepped up on the scale with hesitancy. Lately, the past couple of weeks, nearly a month, I had fallen off of posting my calories to the MyFitnessPal app on my phone, and had to stop doing Zumba for financial reasons. *tear*

Like many women across America, I braced myself and looked down. YESSSSSS! I was DEFINITELY smaller. I went to my app and input my new weight, to which my app responded "Oh, hell yes, girlfriend!!!".

Okay... It didnt actually say that. Its not like i have an iPhone with crazy Siri on it... But it did display my weight loss with exclamation points like this: Lwright has lost a total of 21.6 lbs!!!

Doesnt that feel like a cyber "Oh hell, yes girlfriend" to you? No? That's because you, are a hater.

21.6 lbs... Wow. That means I am one pound lighter than I was last May, before I gained all this weight.....

This may sound like a setback, but to me its a victory for two reasons. For one, I managed not to gain extra weight, even when I wasnt monitoring myself. Hopefully this means that I am becoming more intuned with what my body needs to become more fit. Healthy living may become more natural to me.

Secondly, it is a sign of something I experienced in late January, when I found myself sobbing profusely over my Grandfather's passing last spring. I'd finally let go. Even though he died last spring, I did not shed one tear. It wasnt in me. I thought maybe I was dysfunctional. Instead of crying, I somehow gained 20lbs. I say somehow because I had a very physical summer job, and ate pretty healthy foods... Yet and still, the weight came.

I think that when I finally sobbed like a child in January, it allowed me to let go of whatever it was that was holding me back from grieving, and packing pounds onto my frame. Consequently, a weight has been lifted, literally and figuratively.

So... I am happy with myself. Twentyone and a half pounds is a good indicator of change. But I am certainly not content. I intend to keep going, pushing towards the next ten pound loss.

Hope it gets there...

GroupLove

Let me begin by saying this is not about an orgy.


Yesterday I had my first meeting of a health-change support group.
I say health-change, because I  find it more important to focus on changing one's health status, than obsessing over a number.

It was an amazing meeting. I decided to start one because I do better when people are in on it. That's right. I thrive on accountability! I dont mind health food, or excercise, but I wont keep doing either for very long. I have discovered that motivation is my biggest problem.

Imagine that...

One of the new group members discussed how she might get grouchy during the process; that her attitude towards a necessary change was one of being burdened. She felt like it was a burden to have to make changes for her health. I wondered on this, as I am sure she is not the only person who hates eating better and excercising.

I mean, let's face it... there are alot of people who hate excercising. Excercise-haters of the world unite!
Strangely enough, alot of these same people can intellectualize the process completely.

wait, wait, wait... what am I saying?

I think thats untrue.


I mean, I am sure that there are a lot of people out there who have been unsuccessful in making permanent changes, who can list the process, or explain successful methods. I think I belong to that group. However, I question if those individuals.... us individuals.... can truly conceptualize what it will take, or what may happen if we don't.

For example. I am well aware that if I walked for three hours every day, and reduced my caloric intake, that I would see significant results very soon. But, i don't do it. Why? Well, my theory is that I haven't fully conceptualized what it would require from me mentally. I would first have to re-wire my brain to be more motivated, more disciplined, less likely to give in to the idea of "i-don't-want-to." I would have to learn to accept pain (soreness), as necessary. I would have to dissolve the idea that feeling "full" all the time is a good thing.

Trust me...knowing you have to give up that feeling of being "stuffed" is not the same as giving it up.




So.. I don't think us so-called  intellectuals are truly grasping it at all. I think we may have a very basic understanding which gets us to the starting line. But we still have  a ways to go to truly "get it."


Either way, I am very excited by my new group. Its all women, and very local. So far its only day one, but I think that having others to lean on will be provide alot of strength when I am weak.

check in with me in a week.

baby steps!!!

Til, next time...
Smooches Divas! (And all my wonderful Princes)
Food is good. But Life is delish.

Just an update

So, its October, and instead of losing weight, I've gained some. But to be perfectly honest, I don't care right this minute. Ask me again in three months...

I am well aware that my body is going through all sorts of changes right now. I had to start birth control for the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. And I can tell that it'd making weird decisions on my insides. Bah. Humbug.

On the up and up, and am committed to being physical every other day, for atleast an hour if I am walking or jogging, and maybe thirty minutes if its intense cardio. This is a good step for me, because I think every other day is more realistic, considering my crazy busy schedule.

I have also determined not to eat past 8:30pm. Although I really usually don't eat past 7:30, just out of habit. I am nervous, however as to what effect the BC is having on my appetite.

That's about all with me. I have joined a website called Peertrainer. Maybe that will help me out with accountability. Maybe... it is not the same as being accountable in person, but it's a start.


Oh! And I have cut down on breads. I think I eat bread maybe once a week now. Mostly just meat and greens these days. I am about to cut down the meat too. Down, not out... I'm no vegetarian.


Until next time.
Ciao.