So… how is this food thing going? Remember the cheat day I give myself every week? Well… the first week was a week full of cheats.. which of course, is no bueno! But its restrospectively funny. I mean, I fell flat on my face in failure to avoid sugary snacks. But let me explain: I live with my mother and grandmother.
Go figure… But its not a natural process for me, so we will see how it goes. 
On a high note. I rediscovered another pair of skinny jeans (where DO these clothes manage to hide themselves? who magically discovers clothes in their house?) These gems fit grandly. I’m wearing them now actually. Chubb Chubb Diva moment! LOVE finding great fashion pieces that fit me! (even if I didn’t technically find them because I already owned them.)
What? It’s a recession…. don’t act like that…. are you struggling to pay your rent? Oh you are? Oh ok… well… then who is foolish?
Anyway, my family’s diet is a little more processed than mine. So they are apt to bring home sugary goodness. And my poor willpower just walks out the door. The first week also happened
to be the New Year week, and my mother’s birthday week. I just had to have one cookie… which turned into four more…. in three hours. Same goes for the powdered donuts that I tried to ignore with all my might. But then the milk starts to hum and the donuts and cookies belt out the sweetest love song you have ever heard…. beckoning… calling… playing a sultry siren song. Before you know it, several cookies and donuts are gone and you’re ashamed of yourself…. Yes it’s funny. Yes it’s also sad.
The second week isn’t so bad, so far…. I’ve been staying on track a lot more, with only a few aberrations. I added a line to my chart called “extras” just for such occasions. It’s not as bad as I think usually. But only as long as I am completely honest about what I eat. That part is difficult. If I was good at being honest with myself when it came to food, I wouldn’t have consumed whole medium pizzas so often in college. (minus the obligatory 3 or 4 slices you share with friends in your dorm). Eeww… I cant even believe I ate that way.
I’m a foodie. I love food. And not just in the fast-food industry fatty sugary goodness way. I love trying new flavors. I like exotic foreign foods. I like texture, and aroma and color. I love food! But food doesn’t love me…. I prefer to say that my fat cells are highly allergic to food and liable to swell up. Yeah… that sounds a lot less like its really my fault.
As for my line of “extras”.. I have added a new factor to my process: fidgeting. Yep. That annoying thing the guy in the cubicle next to you does with his pencil. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. I’ve decided to actively become a fidgeter. It burns a lot of calories. Im on a mission to never be still if I can help it. Truthfully, after two days of fidgeting I am actually rather sore.
Anyway, my family’s diet is a little more processed than mine. So they are apt to bring home sugary goodness. And my poor willpower just walks out the door. The first week also happened
to be the New Year week, and my mother’s birthday week. I just had to have one cookie… which turned into four more…. in three hours. Same goes for the powdered donuts that I tried to ignore with all my might. But then the milk starts to hum and the donuts and cookies belt out the sweetest love song you have ever heard…. beckoning… calling… playing a sultry siren song. Before you know it, several cookies and donuts are gone and you’re ashamed of yourself…. Yes it’s funny. Yes it’s also sad.The second week isn’t so bad, so far…. I’ve been staying on track a lot more, with only a few aberrations. I added a line to my chart called “extras” just for such occasions. It’s not as bad as I think usually. But only as long as I am completely honest about what I eat. That part is difficult. If I was good at being honest with myself when it came to food, I wouldn’t have consumed whole medium pizzas so often in college. (minus the obligatory 3 or 4 slices you share with friends in your dorm). Eeww… I cant even believe I ate that way.
I’m a foodie. I love food. And not just in the fast-food industry fatty sugary goodness way. I love trying new flavors. I like exotic foreign foods. I like texture, and aroma and color. I love food! But food doesn’t love me…. I prefer to say that my fat cells are highly allergic to food and liable to swell up. Yeah… that sounds a lot less like its really my fault.
As for my line of “extras”.. I have added a new factor to my process: fidgeting. Yep. That annoying thing the guy in the cubicle next to you does with his pencil. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. I’ve decided to actively become a fidgeter. It burns a lot of calories. Im on a mission to never be still if I can help it. Truthfully, after two days of fidgeting I am actually rather sore.
Go figure… But its not a natural process for me, so we will see how it goes. On a high note. I rediscovered another pair of skinny jeans (where DO these clothes manage to hide themselves? who magically discovers clothes in their house?) These gems fit grandly. I’m wearing them now actually. Chubb Chubb Diva moment! LOVE finding great fashion pieces that fit me! (even if I didn’t technically find them because I already owned them.)
Amidst all this literary foolishness, there is a point. I am very much in love with food. I mean.. unconditionally. The good. The Bad. And the Trans Fat. I love it all. And it's this love that I need to sort of abandon if I hope to get healthier. For example... Hostess cupcakes will never love me back. Not ever. Not even once. (oh man... is this relationship advice). So as much as Hostess has that great cream filling... I need to let it go. Or atleast limit interactions to facebook wall posts one a month... wait.. I mean....
Cupcakes, old girl.... we are discussing cupcakes....
Yeah. I need to consume them less. Or be willing to run them off. (I dont run) Because the Hostess love affair is going to land me in the hospital.
In an attempt to just wean myself off of sweets, I failed horribly. Guess I'm not a cold-turkey kind of girl. So moderation and substitution is the plan for now.
If anyone out there is reading this, please understand.... failure will happen. It's happening to me... right now. But failure isn't about quitting. It's about learning one's limitations and motivations. I have no problem eating healthy food. I love healthy food. I adore wheatgrass juice, and think raw veggies are the fountain of eternal youth. But I also have strong compulsions when it comes to glucose, fructose, and sucralose. It sucks sometimes. It truly does. But like my Just 10 bracelet is supposed to remind me... i'm worth it.
So what's the plan? Well.... this is the difficult part. I have to come to terms with my demons. I have to figure out the "why" of my extra snacking.... but thats a post for next time.
Love you all, my fellow Chubb Chubbs. Remember... good food is delish, but good living is sweeter!
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