Halfway to home base!!

24.8lbs... Even though thats not quite 25... It's darn near. If i ran a mile tomorrow, that'll probably take care of it.

Im very excited, as my initial goal was 50lbs lost. I am halfway there. Except.... It's taking too long. I only have four months left to make my goal. Losing a pound a week, I can lose sixteen or seventeen more, max, before the end of August. Im not sure what it's going to take to kick this weightloss up, but I need that 2lbs/week ratio to pop off. I might go vegan for a few weeks, or something. Lol. We will see.

Tis all for now, my darling chubbchubbs.

Body translator

Previous to Monday, I have most certainly been off track. Fortunately, one of my current jobs is as a dance teacher, so I can't afford not to exercise. However, my eating habits were horrendous!

It all started with a box of softees... You know, the Entemann's donuts? Someone gave me a box of those suckers last Wednesday... Now, even though I live with other people, who I know snacked on the donuts, there is still no excuse for the amount I ate.

One morning, in a rush, my entire breakfast consisted of a doughnut and a chug of soy milk.
Poor body.

I know she's mad at me. In fact, I have often wondered, if my body could speak, what would it say?

in regards to last week, I imagine it would go like this:

"What the hell is this? Another doughnut!!! What am I supposed to do with that Leslie? I am still trying to work out the last one you forced down my throat. Are you trying to kill us? I'm not particularly in the mood to die today. And where's the water? I am so thirsty that I should just shut down on your behind. Ungrateful heifer. Here I am, doing the best that I can to carry your heavy self around, AND keep you doing what you do. What thanks do I get? A doughnut. Some H2O would have been nice. Maybe some spinach... but no... you want to start the day off with a doughnut! Oh sure, maybe you and the Brain are happy. What about me? Why must you make my job so difficult? You know what? Lights out for you!"

And that's exactly what happens. When I don't eat right, my energy dies. I mean, really, it just flat-lines.

And if I was listening, I probably would have heard my body's plea. But instead.. I snacked yet another doughnut. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think that a single doughnut is the end of me, although my body would probably beg to differ. However, many donuts, in a short span of time, coupled with the overall lack of other nutritional sources (I wasn't eating much of anything), just did my poor body no good.

I am probably not the only person not to listen to my body. I think many people ignore the body's basic cry for help. Even those we would call "fit." We ignore our body's cry for nutrition, for rest, for movement, for healing... So many basic needs that we deny ourselves.

Why?

Why do humans think it's ok to ignore the single most important responsibility to a successful life? Name me one thing you can do without your body....


Don't worry... I'll wait...


I didn't think so... So WHY do we mistreat them so? Not exercising. Not resting. Not letting ourselves heal from injury. Eating crappy foods. Yes, people say its ok to have sweets in moderation, but please.. tell me ONE physiological benefit from eating... say... a doughnut. Just one...


Again... think on it... I'll wait...


More importantly, when we don't do these things, we wonder why we suffer from exhaustion, chronic dis-ease, fatigue, memory loss, sluggish brains, headaches, rapid aging, frequent injury, etc.  There's no one to blame for this but us. And even with all the medical help in the world, there's no one that can fix us, but us.

Quit trying to out-logic your body. Chances are, you are the one being illogical. Not the body. It's only telling you what you need. You can't win by trying to reason that you don't really need it.

In my case, my body was fed up with the nutritional malarkey I was feeding it for the week. And what did my body do? "Showed out," as the old folks say. I was overly tired in my dance classes. I was in a grumpy mood, I slept too much, I didnt get as much work done as I wanted, which created anxiety, which added to my stress, which beat my body up even more, because my poorly fed body wasn't functioning at optimal levels, so it didnt have the energy to battle the stress. This resulted in headaches, which led to me taking painkillers.

Now, all of that might have possibly been avoided, if I had just laid off the doughnuts, and ate some nutrient-dense foods.

"That's what I'VE been saying. You take care of me, I'll take care of you."

Ok body... I hear you.

Skinny friends. Fat friends. They all piss me off...

I know we shouldn't judge others. But sometimes, you have to take a step back and review your immediate circle. Your friends should always uplift you and better you. But sometimes they just drag you down.

I have a little story for you. It's pretty true, except the names, of course, have been changed.

When I was in college, I knew two young ladies who were roommates. One was thick and curvy, a true chubbchubb, and the other was slim. Both had a habit of eating whatever they wanted.
We will call our Chubbchubb Diva 'Megan'. And her slim roommate is 'Kim.'

Our friend Megan knew she was reaching an unhealthy weight. She loved greasy, fatty foods, and it was taking its toll on her health. So, she decided to make a change and try to eat healthier. It was a beautiful time in her life, trying to do better. She made certain food switches, tried to go walking regularly. Progress was had...

Until the Skinny Witch of the West put her two cents in. Now, this is not a real stab at Kim's moral character, so much as a highlight of her insensitivity to the moment. Kim had always been smaller. She had no idea what it was like to even contemplate being called... fat... *ominous music plays*
At lunch, Kim would make comments like "Is that all you're going to eat," in reference to Megan's green, leafy salads and baked chicken. And silently, Megan fumed... poor girl.

Which brings me to my first point.
When it comes to weight loss, I hate my 'skinny' friends.
Now, understand, I'm not referring to those svelte Divas who absolutely have to work tremendously hard to keep their bodies fit. I am referring to those 'skinny-minded' girls who have been small forever, and blind to people's issues with weight. If you don't know who I am talking about... check your arm. If there's no extra jiggle to grab, and you don't have any 'skinny-minded' friends... it just might be you...

Now, some people might say... "I can't help being this small." And that's true enough. Genetics leaves us all the victims of all kinds of physiques. But just as a racial or religious majority (or power) should humble themselves in the place of minorities, so too should the naturally skinny of the world be more sensitive to the plight of the heavy.

'Skinny' friends are a detriment to the weightloss struggle. They love you, of course. But, they don't have any compassion for what you go through. And they are absolutely the worst people to workout/eat/buy clothes with. You spend so much time comparing yourself to them and their impossibly small waists, (Whose waist is that freaking small? Come on!) that you miss your own wonderful progress. Because it never measures up to what she has. And then that faithful moment comes... she makes some slight reference to some weight she gained, and you suddenly find yourself explaining to the officer that you don't know how your fingers ended up around her neck...

Then you snap out of the daydream, sigh, and munch angrily on your celery stick... or your oreo cookie... depending on your resiliency.


If you have 'skinny minded' friends who make those uncomfortable comments about your process, don't lose it. Sit them down and explain what its like for you. And what you need from them as a friend.

Now... I also have some fat friends. And I don't mean my fellow chubbchubb divas- those beautiful women who just happen to be bigger. I mean those big women who live life like food is their only pleasure. And can't stand other people's weight loss success. Or worse, have the willpower of a hungry tiger let loose at fat camp....

I have an... associate... we will call her Tonya. And Tonya is a big girl. In my opinion, she is also very beautiful. But that girl is obsessed with weight. When people eat healthy around her, she always gives off these exclamations of "I'm fat. I need some grease, or salt, or something." I once offered Tonya some of my delicious salad and she said "Oh you think I'm fat."

...never mind, crazy.... more for me...

Tonya is off putting because she always makes a situation about her weight. And she does it about other people's weight too. She told me, ME... "you move pretty well for a big girl." I looked at her and said "honey I move well for any girl." I'm a dancer! And being a wonderful plussized Diva doesn't keep me from moving to the beat. I've been big all my life. And nobody ever told me that meant I couldn't be light on my feet...
But Tonya was projecting her insecurities on to me. Or... trying to...

And that's my second point. My "fat friends" can only see their lives as "fat" girls. Their weight is their first thought. And worse, they let it hold them back. Then eventually they try to hold others back. You know the type. You decide to go walking everyday, and she's there with her negativity. "You might as well give up. You know you'd rather be (enter sedentary, mindless activity here).

This is another one you consider interlacing your fingers around... just above the shoulders....

But you don't do it... that would be wrong...
....wrong....

This kind of friend is another issue, and unfortunately, unlike the skinny friend, her conflict with your process usually doesn't stem from a lack of understanding. It stems from her insecurities with her own shape. So she's a harder friend to address. Of course, you can still talk to her. But in the end, if she doesn't change, you may have to just tune her out during her "fatty" moments...

So... what kind of friend should you have? Not skinny. Not fat. A Beyonce... lol.

But seriously, Bey isn't that far off. She is both a hardworking athlete, and a person who struggles openly with her desire to eat sugary snacks. In other words, she has balance, leaning a little more toward success, than failure. And that's the kind of woman you need supporting you in this adventure. The kind that will go running (um... I don't run... so of course, in my head, we're walking briskly) with you ,AND relate to your desire for Ben & Jerry's Chunky Munky. But, being a good friend, she'll serve you up some strawberries and light whipped topping instead. Yeah... get yourself THAT kind of friend.

Til, next time...
Smooches Divas! (And all my wonderful Princes)
Food is good. But Life is delish.


P.s.
Tell me about your skinny/fat friend experiences.
Xoxo.

posted from Bloggeroid

Solid as a Rock.... or not...

So....
My last post was way less than happy. I had a little breakdown. But... I'm back at it again. I started March off with workouts and decent eating. (Yes, I found a doable workout!!! Woohoo!) In about a week, I'm heading back to my alma mater to handle some business. So, for these two weeks, I've been regrouping- centering my mind, and my body. I'd given myself a little two week challenge. It started Saturday evening. I am on a mainly liquid diet. Smoothies. Soups. Juices. And two weeks.

Another new development? I've got a little support system going on. None too close, mostly long distance. But it's a couple of people who are willing to give a bit of encouragement...

So, how's this liquid thing going? Well, pretty good. I've had a bite or two of solid food, but I've been pretty good at sticking to it. I've changed from 6meals to 7, since they're liquid, and I'm getting up earlier these days.

And I miss chicken.

You have no idea. I was googling "meat smoothies" to see if there was some recipe for liquid meat substance that wouldn't be gross.....


Why? Well.... honestly.... I like challenges. I do better when I have a controllable goal. Lose twenty pounds? Not exactly in my control. Drink liquid for two weeks? I can do that. Its a good goal to reset, and rededicate my brain for the challenges I am facing in this weightloss journey. It's also a chance to give my digestive system a break, reduce caloric intake, and infuse my body with all sorts of nutrients.

So... we'll see how it goes, my loves.
Today, I have a mild ache that is trying to turn into a headache. I don't know if that's from a lack of solid food or not... I hope it goes away in a few days...


We will see...

Love you all my fellow Chubbchubbs! Remember... good food is delish, but good living is sweeter.

posted from Bloggeroid

Open up and say "ahh"

Today I am going to have an informal visit with the doctor... Probably no more than a mild checkup. But its still an air of gloom and doom.

You walk into this room, strip down to your JohnBrown hindparts, and get poked and prodded by a person that is neither your lover, or family member... That's the average doctor's visit. They blind you with a flashlight and stick lights in your ears. I always imagine light pouring out of the remaining holes in my head cartoon-style. Then the infamous "say ah"... a testament to torture. Because we all know that none of us are ever saying "ahh" good enough or loud enough. You just keep trying until you sound like some Wall-E style robot...


Then they listen to your insides. Lungs. Heart. Belly. Back.... (notice heavier people say "belly" like its a separate entity? Buff people say superfluous things lik "core" or abdomen... showoffs.) What they're listening for, I will never know. I always imagine that I can contort my stomach to play a little ditty...





Scary as it all sounds...

None of these factors are the "why" behind my anxiety... its the disappointment....

First, let me tell you a little bit about my doctor. One word comes to mind: liberal. She is a fun lady, in all seriousness. (Can you be fun in all seriousness?) She's thin, of course, and jewish and energetic, and probably in her forties somewhere. And she is always smiling.

She has been interested in me for as long as I can remember. My whole family actually. She is the only pediatrician I ever knew who wanted to check out a parent.

I remember how I found out she was Jewish...
I asked her once when I was younger "Doc," I said, "is it at all humanly possible to get pregnant without having actual sex?" She replied "well, I heard a story about it happening to a nice jewish girl named Mary once, but I don't think so."

Hilarious....

Anyway, I haven't physically seen her since maaaybe the summer? I can't actually remember. I just know that health-wise, I've been behaving pretty much like an obscene rollercoaster. And although I started January off to a good start... well... we know how that ended. Red sea compounded with Tech week for my play... yikes...

So... I'm afraid of the disappointment that is sure to be lurking under that optimistic smile. Because you can't hide from the facts at the doctors. Can't blame weightgain on broken scales, or pretend that all that fiber has really lowered your cholesterol. You piss in a cup, and the truth is all there in your too-dark urine.

Now... I have every intention of rebooting this February in a good way. And so far I am not off to a bad start. I made the most delicious sandwhich spread (carrots, olives, cream cheese, onion, and some black pepper). I want to change!

But I've said this to her before... so if this visit doesn't reveal some serious differences from last time, I'm going to sound like a broken record. This time really IS different though. Blogging creates a certain level of accountability. If I know you guys are tuning in to check on how I'm doing, or maybe just to laugh at the poor dope who calls herself a "chubbchubb," I'm going to write. And since I'm writing honestly, I'm going to want to do better. Right? Well... that's how I hope it works out anyway...



*a couple hours later*

Well... that's over.... and like I said... you can't hide from the truth. And what's the truth?

I AM FRICKIN McAwesome!!
My blood pressure was 100/60.
That's darn perfect boys and girls!!
(Just a lil informative moment... if your blood pressure is higher than 129 on top and 80 on the bottom... you, my friend, should see a doctor.)

My weight is 236. Which is one pound over my range. I'm usually 230 in the morning, and 235 by the end of the day... so... I haven't really gained any weight! (Its about 4pm my time).

I am so good! And Doc thinks I look slimmer. She would know... she has been checking me out since, like... 1994 or so... over half of my life!

So... my chubb chubbs... just goes to show... hard work does pay off! I can't believe I was so worried.

I guess the lesson today is to trust myself. If I know I am working hard, I need to trust that I will see results. Because that's the best my blood pressure has ever been in my adult life!

This is a sweet moment guys and gals. I think I deserve a yogurt parfait. A lil healthy sweet emotional eating. ;-) (I really am hungry though)...

Tomorrow, I am going to start some kind of workout... and return to my food journaling! This visit was a great motivator for February.

Love you all, my fellow Chubbchubbs. Remember... good food is delish, but good living is sweeter!

The Beginning

I dont want you to get the wrong impression. I love being me.... mostly. And I am certainly what I call a "chubb chubb." This is not about bashing or making fun of people's sizes. I will probably always be a little bit chubby. But I think it makes me cute. What is a Chubb Chubb? One of the proud and fortunate few who carry a little extra weight, and keep it moving. Chubb Chubbs arent ashamed, sitting in the corner like wallflowers... We are unabashedly proud to be the social butterfly, sitting in the middle of the crowd, getting all the attention.







However.... chubby or not... I need to get my health in order. So.... I've decided to write a blog about this weight-loss thing. Who Am I? No... i am not some health and fitness guru. Although as much as I nag my friends about fried food and pork, they probably think I am.

I don't have any crazy medical miracles when it come to weight loss. I'm a moderately healthy American who is also overweight with a sugar addiction.... Laughing yet? If so... that's probably because this sounds familiar. Very familiar..

I’m 5’6” and I weigh in at approximately 230-235lbs. Yeah… But I’m Black, so I look like I’m about 180.

What is that about you ask? Oh… well…. I learned that physiologically, most Black people are generally denser. Muscles. Bone, etc. We even carry our fat differently (and I don’t mean the stereotypically popular Black Booty.) This means that a white girl with my height and weight might look much bigger, or less toned than I do.

So-obviously this blog wont be about scale numbers. Inches maybe…. But not numbers. Why? Because I plan to succeed in getting healthier. And that means losing fat. Inches matter more than pounds when you are talking about fat.
And while we’re talking success… (well… I’m talking… you’re reading….)I am giving myself until the end of august 2012… My 25th birthday, to get my body in order. It’s January… 2011… so… we are looking at an estimated 18 and a half months. I want to lose this belly fat, so I can reduce my risk of getting diabetes, lower my blood pressure, build up my cardio endurance, and strengthen some muscles groups.

Yup. I got a target. You got to have a target. And I’m gonna document it for all the people out there who think their own weight loss is undoable, or think the solution can be found in a pill. I’m putting it all out there; the triumphs, the failures (I’m sure there will be a lot of those), the discoveries, and the tried and true methods that just work. I hope to become a daily blogger, but honestly… I’m a busy girl. So I hope you, my dear reader, are ready for the journey. Because truthfully, I’ve had enough of just wanting better. I'm ready to DO better….

Love you all, my fellow Chubb Chubbs. Remember... good food is delish, but good living is sweeter!