Halfway to home base!!

24.8lbs... Even though thats not quite 25... It's darn near. If i ran a mile tomorrow, that'll probably take care of it.

Im very excited, as my initial goal was 50lbs lost. I am halfway there. Except.... It's taking too long. I only have four months left to make my goal. Losing a pound a week, I can lose sixteen or seventeen more, max, before the end of August. Im not sure what it's going to take to kick this weightloss up, but I need that 2lbs/week ratio to pop off. I might go vegan for a few weeks, or something. Lol. We will see.

Tis all for now, my darling chubbchubbs.

Skinny friends. Fat friends. They all piss me off...

I know we shouldn't judge others. But sometimes, you have to take a step back and review your immediate circle. Your friends should always uplift you and better you. But sometimes they just drag you down.

I have a little story for you. It's pretty true, except the names, of course, have been changed.

When I was in college, I knew two young ladies who were roommates. One was thick and curvy, a true chubbchubb, and the other was slim. Both had a habit of eating whatever they wanted.
We will call our Chubbchubb Diva 'Megan'. And her slim roommate is 'Kim.'

Our friend Megan knew she was reaching an unhealthy weight. She loved greasy, fatty foods, and it was taking its toll on her health. So, she decided to make a change and try to eat healthier. It was a beautiful time in her life, trying to do better. She made certain food switches, tried to go walking regularly. Progress was had...

Until the Skinny Witch of the West put her two cents in. Now, this is not a real stab at Kim's moral character, so much as a highlight of her insensitivity to the moment. Kim had always been smaller. She had no idea what it was like to even contemplate being called... fat... *ominous music plays*
At lunch, Kim would make comments like "Is that all you're going to eat," in reference to Megan's green, leafy salads and baked chicken. And silently, Megan fumed... poor girl.

Which brings me to my first point.
When it comes to weight loss, I hate my 'skinny' friends.
Now, understand, I'm not referring to those svelte Divas who absolutely have to work tremendously hard to keep their bodies fit. I am referring to those 'skinny-minded' girls who have been small forever, and blind to people's issues with weight. If you don't know who I am talking about... check your arm. If there's no extra jiggle to grab, and you don't have any 'skinny-minded' friends... it just might be you...

Now, some people might say... "I can't help being this small." And that's true enough. Genetics leaves us all the victims of all kinds of physiques. But just as a racial or religious majority (or power) should humble themselves in the place of minorities, so too should the naturally skinny of the world be more sensitive to the plight of the heavy.

'Skinny' friends are a detriment to the weightloss struggle. They love you, of course. But, they don't have any compassion for what you go through. And they are absolutely the worst people to workout/eat/buy clothes with. You spend so much time comparing yourself to them and their impossibly small waists, (Whose waist is that freaking small? Come on!) that you miss your own wonderful progress. Because it never measures up to what she has. And then that faithful moment comes... she makes some slight reference to some weight she gained, and you suddenly find yourself explaining to the officer that you don't know how your fingers ended up around her neck...

Then you snap out of the daydream, sigh, and munch angrily on your celery stick... or your oreo cookie... depending on your resiliency.


If you have 'skinny minded' friends who make those uncomfortable comments about your process, don't lose it. Sit them down and explain what its like for you. And what you need from them as a friend.

Now... I also have some fat friends. And I don't mean my fellow chubbchubb divas- those beautiful women who just happen to be bigger. I mean those big women who live life like food is their only pleasure. And can't stand other people's weight loss success. Or worse, have the willpower of a hungry tiger let loose at fat camp....

I have an... associate... we will call her Tonya. And Tonya is a big girl. In my opinion, she is also very beautiful. But that girl is obsessed with weight. When people eat healthy around her, she always gives off these exclamations of "I'm fat. I need some grease, or salt, or something." I once offered Tonya some of my delicious salad and she said "Oh you think I'm fat."

...never mind, crazy.... more for me...

Tonya is off putting because she always makes a situation about her weight. And she does it about other people's weight too. She told me, ME... "you move pretty well for a big girl." I looked at her and said "honey I move well for any girl." I'm a dancer! And being a wonderful plussized Diva doesn't keep me from moving to the beat. I've been big all my life. And nobody ever told me that meant I couldn't be light on my feet...
But Tonya was projecting her insecurities on to me. Or... trying to...

And that's my second point. My "fat friends" can only see their lives as "fat" girls. Their weight is their first thought. And worse, they let it hold them back. Then eventually they try to hold others back. You know the type. You decide to go walking everyday, and she's there with her negativity. "You might as well give up. You know you'd rather be (enter sedentary, mindless activity here).

This is another one you consider interlacing your fingers around... just above the shoulders....

But you don't do it... that would be wrong...
....wrong....

This kind of friend is another issue, and unfortunately, unlike the skinny friend, her conflict with your process usually doesn't stem from a lack of understanding. It stems from her insecurities with her own shape. So she's a harder friend to address. Of course, you can still talk to her. But in the end, if she doesn't change, you may have to just tune her out during her "fatty" moments...

So... what kind of friend should you have? Not skinny. Not fat. A Beyonce... lol.

But seriously, Bey isn't that far off. She is both a hardworking athlete, and a person who struggles openly with her desire to eat sugary snacks. In other words, she has balance, leaning a little more toward success, than failure. And that's the kind of woman you need supporting you in this adventure. The kind that will go running (um... I don't run... so of course, in my head, we're walking briskly) with you ,AND relate to your desire for Ben & Jerry's Chunky Munky. But, being a good friend, she'll serve you up some strawberries and light whipped topping instead. Yeah... get yourself THAT kind of friend.

Til, next time...
Smooches Divas! (And all my wonderful Princes)
Food is good. But Life is delish.


P.s.
Tell me about your skinny/fat friend experiences.
Xoxo.

posted from Bloggeroid

I'm baaaaack!!!

Hello all. I have been on a sort of blogging hiatus. I have also been gone traveling 17 days out of 24 last month. Phew! Nothing like a few trips to make you reevaluate your health plan.

I'd like to take a moment to give you all an update. While I have no idea how much I weigh, I have made an attempt tp stop eating after 7pm, regardless of how much I've eaten. This has been approximately 89% successful, which I'm pleased with for now.

Listed below is a link to an article that I hope will be very helpful to myself, and all you wonderful readers. http://www.naturalnews.com/003550.html

I've also come to terms with a certain reality... I am going o feel hungry sometimes. It is a natural fact. I can pretend its untrue or I can accept the mathematics of it. To lose weight, I must excercise and consume less calories. In consuming less calories than I am used to, my body will feel confused and respond with ghrelin (the hunger hormone) to try and maintain my current calorie count. But I can't maintain my current calorie count.

So far, this blogging thing as been a reason to find someone to hold me accountable for what I am doing. Then it became a chore. Now, its a task. A challenge. Both to give you all something worthwhile, and to see it through. My health and my words.
So... I'm back my darlings.

New start, and new saying, my chubbchubbs.

Food is good, but Life is delish.

posted from Bloggeroid

posted from Bloggeroid

Water, water, Everywhere...

Good day Chubbchubbs.
February is off to an okayish start. (Yes I am aware that 'okayish' is not a word)
I've added a bunch of helpful apps to my phone. I love apps. Love them... I might be addicted...
I know my mom is addicted to one of them- the 'angry birds' game.... she REALLY loves it.

If you don't know what Angry Birds is, do yourself a favor. Play a game or two. Green pigs and exploding P-O'd birds...

As I was saying...
Android has a great group of apps! And though I may have a mild addiction to apps, I really have found some great ones. A diet tracker(food journal), a pushup sergeant, some pilates moves, a weight progress tracker, etc... there's even an alarm that tells me to eat (six small meals a day, remember?). And if you are hyper busy, like me, or hyper ADHD like... well... I won't mention names... having reminders for those types of important things is great!

However, there IS an app that is becoming a nemesis of mine. It also sets off alarms to remind me of something...

Its the water-drinking app...

There is a funny little app that reminds me to drink water. I did a bunch of tests, and based on my weight (234.6 today) and activity and climate, and blah,blah,blah... I am supposed to drink 17 cups of water... but its winter, and I am not sweating, so I'm going for 16 cups.

So... this lil app does two things. It keeps track of how many cups of water I drink, and it sends me little reminders.

It also does a third thing... it taunts me...

Now, I'm smart enough to know that not all my water has to come in crystal clear H2O format. It can also come from foods I eat, like soup, watermelon, fruits, etc. But still.... 16 cups is a lot of frickin water!!!
And usually, I like drinking water... but my body... it's just upset.

Yesterday was my first attempt at consuming 16 cups of water. I got to 15. That's alotta trips to the faucet.
A bajillion drip, drip, drips...


Ugh... so... yesterday was comical, at the very least. After my 6th cup, I felt full. Just too %$*# full... I was drinking a lot like this during the summer, but I hadn't been lately. My poor lil belly felt so stretched out!

The weird thing about drinking water is that you THINK you are going to feel bloated-because of what everyone says about water-weight. But evidently it doesn't work that way.

Here's how it actually works.

Let's start with a bloated white guy. We'll name him Randy...



See Randy? He thinks he's sexy... that's not sexy.
Anyway, Randy, besides being heavy, also has a huge gut from being bloated. And most of that bloating is water. Why is Randy bloated? Well... he probably doesn't drink enough water. So he, like most of us, suffers from dehydration. Its very common. Lots of Americans experience mild to moderate dehydration and never even know. They think they're SUPPOSED to feel the way they do.

I'm saying "they" so you don't feel bad, but chances are, you too are amongst the many.

So back to Randy's bloat...
When the body is even slightly dehydrated, it sucks whatever water is available, into the fat cells, to store it. Survival mode. And the fat cells swell... then you have. Ta-daa! Bloat.

So... drinking MORE water actually tells the body it can release the excess water in the fat...

Who knew?

Good luck Randy.

Now back to me.

I'm not so much concerned with bloating. I do that once a month without drinking water. Joys of womanhood...

However, it takes the body awhile to get used to constantly flushing out water. So until my body regulates, guess where I'll be spending quite a bit of time...

Well, my niece calls it... "the potty." The toilet. The can. The porcelain throne, the whizzbucket, the- ok I'm done.

Yep. Lots of trips to flush city. (Had to get one more out)

And don't be like me, in scenarios where there's no bathroom available and you wait, and wait, and wait, wiggling around like some sort of 1950's American Bandstand dancer


Its not pleasant.
I felt bad, because I almost bumrushed this small child to go. Well, I say almost. I hope I didn't get the child. I didn't stick around long enough to see after a bathroom free'd up.




Having to go to the bathroom turns you into a lethal person. It brings out the worst in you, I'm telling the truth! And guys... don't leave them near an empty container...


And WHY is it that they can pee anywhere and we can't? If we pee in the woods, we're wild women. They're just "roughing it."

Bah. Hum. Bug.

Well... I know my body will calm down and regulate after awhile. And I look forward to that. Because when I drink a lot of water, good things do happen. I eat less, my skin clears up, and drinking cold water burns a TON of calories. So, although I feel like a sponge right now, (soak it up, squeeze it out) I know it'll pay off soon.... I hope...

Til then, if u need me, I'll be in the restroom.

Love you all, my fellow Chubbchubbs. Remember... good food is delish, but good living is sweeter.

Open up and say "ahh"

Today I am going to have an informal visit with the doctor... Probably no more than a mild checkup. But its still an air of gloom and doom.

You walk into this room, strip down to your JohnBrown hindparts, and get poked and prodded by a person that is neither your lover, or family member... That's the average doctor's visit. They blind you with a flashlight and stick lights in your ears. I always imagine light pouring out of the remaining holes in my head cartoon-style. Then the infamous "say ah"... a testament to torture. Because we all know that none of us are ever saying "ahh" good enough or loud enough. You just keep trying until you sound like some Wall-E style robot...


Then they listen to your insides. Lungs. Heart. Belly. Back.... (notice heavier people say "belly" like its a separate entity? Buff people say superfluous things lik "core" or abdomen... showoffs.) What they're listening for, I will never know. I always imagine that I can contort my stomach to play a little ditty...





Scary as it all sounds...

None of these factors are the "why" behind my anxiety... its the disappointment....

First, let me tell you a little bit about my doctor. One word comes to mind: liberal. She is a fun lady, in all seriousness. (Can you be fun in all seriousness?) She's thin, of course, and jewish and energetic, and probably in her forties somewhere. And she is always smiling.

She has been interested in me for as long as I can remember. My whole family actually. She is the only pediatrician I ever knew who wanted to check out a parent.

I remember how I found out she was Jewish...
I asked her once when I was younger "Doc," I said, "is it at all humanly possible to get pregnant without having actual sex?" She replied "well, I heard a story about it happening to a nice jewish girl named Mary once, but I don't think so."

Hilarious....

Anyway, I haven't physically seen her since maaaybe the summer? I can't actually remember. I just know that health-wise, I've been behaving pretty much like an obscene rollercoaster. And although I started January off to a good start... well... we know how that ended. Red sea compounded with Tech week for my play... yikes...

So... I'm afraid of the disappointment that is sure to be lurking under that optimistic smile. Because you can't hide from the facts at the doctors. Can't blame weightgain on broken scales, or pretend that all that fiber has really lowered your cholesterol. You piss in a cup, and the truth is all there in your too-dark urine.

Now... I have every intention of rebooting this February in a good way. And so far I am not off to a bad start. I made the most delicious sandwhich spread (carrots, olives, cream cheese, onion, and some black pepper). I want to change!

But I've said this to her before... so if this visit doesn't reveal some serious differences from last time, I'm going to sound like a broken record. This time really IS different though. Blogging creates a certain level of accountability. If I know you guys are tuning in to check on how I'm doing, or maybe just to laugh at the poor dope who calls herself a "chubbchubb," I'm going to write. And since I'm writing honestly, I'm going to want to do better. Right? Well... that's how I hope it works out anyway...



*a couple hours later*

Well... that's over.... and like I said... you can't hide from the truth. And what's the truth?

I AM FRICKIN McAwesome!!
My blood pressure was 100/60.
That's darn perfect boys and girls!!
(Just a lil informative moment... if your blood pressure is higher than 129 on top and 80 on the bottom... you, my friend, should see a doctor.)

My weight is 236. Which is one pound over my range. I'm usually 230 in the morning, and 235 by the end of the day... so... I haven't really gained any weight! (Its about 4pm my time).

I am so good! And Doc thinks I look slimmer. She would know... she has been checking me out since, like... 1994 or so... over half of my life!

So... my chubb chubbs... just goes to show... hard work does pay off! I can't believe I was so worried.

I guess the lesson today is to trust myself. If I know I am working hard, I need to trust that I will see results. Because that's the best my blood pressure has ever been in my adult life!

This is a sweet moment guys and gals. I think I deserve a yogurt parfait. A lil healthy sweet emotional eating. ;-) (I really am hungry though)...

Tomorrow, I am going to start some kind of workout... and return to my food journaling! This visit was a great motivator for February.

Love you all, my fellow Chubbchubbs. Remember... good food is delish, but good living is sweeter!