Halfway to home base!!

24.8lbs... Even though thats not quite 25... It's darn near. If i ran a mile tomorrow, that'll probably take care of it.

Im very excited, as my initial goal was 50lbs lost. I am halfway there. Except.... It's taking too long. I only have four months left to make my goal. Losing a pound a week, I can lose sixteen or seventeen more, max, before the end of August. Im not sure what it's going to take to kick this weightloss up, but I need that 2lbs/week ratio to pop off. I might go vegan for a few weeks, or something. Lol. We will see.

Tis all for now, my darling chubbchubbs.

21!!!! And a half....

A few days ago, I met up with an old enemy of mine.... The scale... I looked at it.... It stared back up at me with that cold digital 0000... And then we faced off.

I stepped up on the scale with hesitancy. Lately, the past couple of weeks, nearly a month, I had fallen off of posting my calories to the MyFitnessPal app on my phone, and had to stop doing Zumba for financial reasons. *tear*

Like many women across America, I braced myself and looked down. YESSSSSS! I was DEFINITELY smaller. I went to my app and input my new weight, to which my app responded "Oh, hell yes, girlfriend!!!".

Okay... It didnt actually say that. Its not like i have an iPhone with crazy Siri on it... But it did display my weight loss with exclamation points like this: Lwright has lost a total of 21.6 lbs!!!

Doesnt that feel like a cyber "Oh hell, yes girlfriend" to you? No? That's because you, are a hater.

21.6 lbs... Wow. That means I am one pound lighter than I was last May, before I gained all this weight.....

This may sound like a setback, but to me its a victory for two reasons. For one, I managed not to gain extra weight, even when I wasnt monitoring myself. Hopefully this means that I am becoming more intuned with what my body needs to become more fit. Healthy living may become more natural to me.

Secondly, it is a sign of something I experienced in late January, when I found myself sobbing profusely over my Grandfather's passing last spring. I'd finally let go. Even though he died last spring, I did not shed one tear. It wasnt in me. I thought maybe I was dysfunctional. Instead of crying, I somehow gained 20lbs. I say somehow because I had a very physical summer job, and ate pretty healthy foods... Yet and still, the weight came.

I think that when I finally sobbed like a child in January, it allowed me to let go of whatever it was that was holding me back from grieving, and packing pounds onto my frame. Consequently, a weight has been lifted, literally and figuratively.

So... I am happy with myself. Twentyone and a half pounds is a good indicator of change. But I am certainly not content. I intend to keep going, pushing towards the next ten pound loss.

Hope it gets there...

GroupLove

Let me begin by saying this is not about an orgy.


Yesterday I had my first meeting of a health-change support group.
I say health-change, because I  find it more important to focus on changing one's health status, than obsessing over a number.

It was an amazing meeting. I decided to start one because I do better when people are in on it. That's right. I thrive on accountability! I dont mind health food, or excercise, but I wont keep doing either for very long. I have discovered that motivation is my biggest problem.

Imagine that...

One of the new group members discussed how she might get grouchy during the process; that her attitude towards a necessary change was one of being burdened. She felt like it was a burden to have to make changes for her health. I wondered on this, as I am sure she is not the only person who hates eating better and excercising.

I mean, let's face it... there are alot of people who hate excercising. Excercise-haters of the world unite!
Strangely enough, alot of these same people can intellectualize the process completely.

wait, wait, wait... what am I saying?

I think thats untrue.


I mean, I am sure that there are a lot of people out there who have been unsuccessful in making permanent changes, who can list the process, or explain successful methods. I think I belong to that group. However, I question if those individuals.... us individuals.... can truly conceptualize what it will take, or what may happen if we don't.

For example. I am well aware that if I walked for three hours every day, and reduced my caloric intake, that I would see significant results very soon. But, i don't do it. Why? Well, my theory is that I haven't fully conceptualized what it would require from me mentally. I would first have to re-wire my brain to be more motivated, more disciplined, less likely to give in to the idea of "i-don't-want-to." I would have to learn to accept pain (soreness), as necessary. I would have to dissolve the idea that feeling "full" all the time is a good thing.

Trust me...knowing you have to give up that feeling of being "stuffed" is not the same as giving it up.




So.. I don't think us so-called  intellectuals are truly grasping it at all. I think we may have a very basic understanding which gets us to the starting line. But we still have  a ways to go to truly "get it."


Either way, I am very excited by my new group. Its all women, and very local. So far its only day one, but I think that having others to lean on will be provide alot of strength when I am weak.

check in with me in a week.

baby steps!!!

Til, next time...
Smooches Divas! (And all my wonderful Princes)
Food is good. But Life is delish.

Just an update

So, its October, and instead of losing weight, I've gained some. But to be perfectly honest, I don't care right this minute. Ask me again in three months...

I am well aware that my body is going through all sorts of changes right now. I had to start birth control for the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. And I can tell that it'd making weird decisions on my insides. Bah. Humbug.

On the up and up, and am committed to being physical every other day, for atleast an hour if I am walking or jogging, and maybe thirty minutes if its intense cardio. This is a good step for me, because I think every other day is more realistic, considering my crazy busy schedule.

I have also determined not to eat past 8:30pm. Although I really usually don't eat past 7:30, just out of habit. I am nervous, however as to what effect the BC is having on my appetite.

That's about all with me. I have joined a website called Peertrainer. Maybe that will help me out with accountability. Maybe... it is not the same as being accountable in person, but it's a start.


Oh! And I have cut down on breads. I think I eat bread maybe once a week now. Mostly just meat and greens these days. I am about to cut down the meat too. Down, not out... I'm no vegetarian.


Until next time.
Ciao.